My life as a writer...

... has been an incredibly slow one. I've only ever fully completed one thing, but I was very damn proud of it. It was longer than it was supposed to be and I find out around Halloween if it gets accepted or not, but I've never felt like anything I wrote was worthy of attention or appreciation until that. (It was for the Machine of Death Anthology)
I've been wanting to attempt writing some more since then because I was so proud of myself, but I think the world is crashing down around me a little bit. Being overwhelmed with school and work and dedicating time to myself, sometimes I forget that I need to slow down and enjoy the simple things, like writing a short story.
That's partly why I started this personal blog. The more I talk, the better my writing is. I know some people are like that, too, but just talking really gets my creative juices flowing. It stimulates my brain and lets me develop my thoughts. Pretty cool, right? You should try it sometime.
So what's on my mind tonight? I just posted a note on Facebook. Here it is:

My name is Kassie.

My name is Kathryn Y R. My nickname is Kassie.

My name is Kathryn Y R. My nickname is Kassie. The reason they are different is because Kathryn is my baptismal name and my parents wanted to call me Kassie. Using a baptismal name as the legal first name is a common practice for Catholics.

My name is Kathryn Y R. My nickname is Kassie. The reason they are different is because Kathryn is my baptismal name and my parents wanted to call me Kassie. Using a baptismal name as the legal first name is a common practice for Catholics.

I prefer to be called Kassie, but it has always been really confusing for teachers because they don’t see the connection. Sometimes they think it’s a middle name, like a handful of my friends.

My mom was sure I was going to be a boy, so she planned on naming me Brian… until I came out and needed a PINK blanket. My name is Kathryn Y R. My nickname is Kassie. The reason they are different is because Kathryn is my baptismal name and my parents wanted to call me Kassie. Using a baptismal name as the legal first name is a common practice for Catholics.

I prefer to be called Kassie, but it has always been really confusing for teachers because they don’t see the connection. Sometimes they think it’s a middle name, like a handful of my friends.

My mom was sure I was going to be a boy, so she planned on naming me Brian… until I came out and needed a PINK blanket. My name is Kathryn Y R. My nickname is Kassie. The reason they are different is because Kathryn is my baptismal name and my parents wanted to call me Kassie. Using a baptismal name as the legal first name is a common practice for Catholics.

I prefer to be called Kassie, but it has always been really confusing for teachers because they don’t see the connection. Sometimes they think it’s a middle name, like a handful of my friends.

            Some people say a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. My name doesn’t make me who I am; rather, I make my name a part of me. I’m not a Katie or a Kathy or a Casey or a Brian. I’m a K-Y-R Kassie, and that’s the person I’ll always be. That’s how everyone is. We are who we choose to be and our name doesn’t change that. But having Optimus as a middle name must be pretty cool.

It made me think. I read all of one page of the chapter. We're reading In the Middle, which is a pretty amazing book. I just haven't been dedicated enough to the class to really read each and every chapter thoroughly because it's the equivalent of a hefty narrative.
How is it possible for me to complete my assignment without actually doing anything? How sad is that?
The worst part - college classes are like that. I had such great dreams for college classes. I thought it was going to be amazing and intellectual and exciting. So far, everything has been minimal at best. I haven't felt like any of my classes (except a select few, which I explained to the teachers just how much I loved their classes) really inspired me or made me think differently about my life. People can get revelations from religion and television shows and books and music and everything else in the world, and I'm having so much trouble getting anything from education, which is where we are supposed to learn almost everything.
This makes me think of why I wanted to be a teacher. I loved helping people understand things and I hated the way my teachers did their lessons. I actually called one teacher out because he was making an assignment more complicated than it needed to be. He defended a student who called me a smartass for trying to make my point. I was so embarrassed and angry because he didn't even want to listen. He was the teacher and he was right, even if it meant we were doing unnecessary, extra work.
Every time I meet a teacher that I think is insufficient in some form, I think of all the ways I would do it differently. It helps a little because I figure out the kinds of this I want to do and the things I don't. But it also shows me just how ineffective most teachers are. So I leave you with this: when a student fails, is it the teacher's fault or the students? 

Just a cute way to end - my boyfriend and I are watching the spin off of Jimmy Neutron about Sheen. Carl talks to his belly button and the belly button says "The wife's out back cutting cheese." I thought that was adorable. Great way to end the night, don't you think? :D